Ok, now I have been considering like 20 different titles for this post, but lets now settle down with this one. I guess the most efficient version of the whole weekend experience would be bullet points, at least you will get the feel of how weird it was, point by point. If you have any questions to any of them, just ask (it wont be too many questions as like 2 people currently read my blog .. thats what I get for not updating for half a year )

• the expression “Panenka skakava”, freely translated as “Skipping virgin”, is an exclamation like “Jesus Christ” or “Holy cow”. Its fairly common in czech and slovakia, but virtually noone knows that it comes from the name of (now non existing) village Skoky (leaps/jumps) and the picture of Virgin Mary that was reported to cause some miracles (healings, protection from storms) in 18th century when more than 35000 people are reported to come for a yearly pillgrimage, because of this Skoky was also called the Czech Lurdes
• I wanted to go there on my own based on instructions from web
• whole week was sunny and warm, friday evening came thunder storm and whole weekend was to be crappy weather
• miracle#1: instead of at 5:30 I woke up at 6:30 with the train leaving at 7 (last train, any other connection for some 5 hours), sweated I made it into the train
• from the train window I see a pheasant bird, not sure if I have seen one free ever before… or at least for last few years
• miracle#2: in first train a lady sits opposite me and reads newspaper, there I notice an article about “be aware, time is changing!”, if not for that I would not know that this weekend on Sunday 2am becomes 3am.
• I met a group of 5 guys in the train who were checking the map of the area and asked them for some details as I had only a (now I really know for sure) crappy printout of a small area with my path of choice marked on it
• at 11:00 I was finally in my start-point, village Stedre (Generous), village so small that even the pub went bankrupt
• I started hiking, after an hour took a path (a cycling track) that was supposed to copy my trail, after hour and half realized the path is taking me South instead of North… lost #1
• at moment of deciding if to go all the way back I noticed a road under the hill I was on, so I skipped it down and came to a 1m wide river, I cant really jump that far with a bag so needed to build a bridge of broken pieces of wood I found around
• got into the village, found out the village is so far of my planned trip its not on my crappy map. Instead of going 3,1 km to North-West from Stedra I finished up going 3 km to North, than 2,5 km back South AND 5 km to West
• miracle #3: in the village I finished in (Radyne) starts a marked path going straight to the Skoky village (didnt know that, never heard about the track before)
• I follow the track for next 3 hours going through beautiful country with nothing but nature, didnt meet a single soul, some 3 times I think I am finally there. Than I run into a village with people thinking WTF (I had no map so no clue there was a village), there a cute big white dog brings me a stick and wants me to play throw with him, I do – its fun and it looks nice on pictures. That dog is with me for the next 24 hours and becomes center to most of the next story.
• The path goes through woods, meadows and springs, is very well marked but only one-way – the markings are visible only if you go towards Skoky, I think to myself  “going the other direction this way would be pretty difficult, good thing I am taking the other route on way home”
• dog is fun, runs around, such a happy creature he makes me smile, additional 2 hours of walking or so, I consider calling him Angel
• I FINALLY come to Skoky, I meet 5 guys there (sounds familiar?) who are just leaving
• I will stay for night in the deserted village in the ruins of the old Guesthouse, take some pictures, dog refuses to go back home
• I go to check up the upper floor of the house, 1 m of the staircase is missing but I make it with a big step, after some 1 minute the dog is up there too… Guessing right, when I go down the dumbass cant jump down, I try to carry him but try to pick up a 50kg wiggling scared furry dog. After several attempts, including offering him my leg, hand and own back as steps I decide to go out and find some wide piece of wood to make stairs for him. As soon as I go behind the corner the dog starts whining and crying like I am killing him. After 3 min when I find a suitable piece, the dog runs to me… So much for “I cant go down, help me” theater you sissy…
• I am hungry, the dog is hungry, he can make a sadder face. I “share” my food, I had enough food for one person for two days… That bitch ates all I offer and beg for more.
• Problem: I am to sleep on ground in sleeping bag, thus within range of dogs tongue. Thanks god that he is able to understand “sit” and “lie”, not that it would distract him for too long. After a few wrestling matches I find that only solution is to cover my face with blanket, than he leaves me kinda alone.
• Its 2,5° C outside/inside. Dog is wet, cold and possibly hungry. All he does is whine, run around and try to lick my face. I make him lie down but cant stop him from whining, try to calm him down by giving him my jacket as blanket… Wrong idea, dog is just bored and after a “little” drooling into it decides to check out its taste. Stupid me, jacket has now a decent breathing hole. Thats pisses me off so much that even the dog lies down and shuts up.
• All night is a chain of following repeating episodes: I wake up because its cold, because the dog is snoring, because dog decides to take a quick walk, because I think I hear the dog chewing on my camera/beer bottle/bag/blanket (thanks god all wrong, its just dogs weird snoring).
• Morning at 5 am dog succeeds in waking me up.
• Dog refuses to go home (that idiot has no clue where is it) so as a nice person (with feeling of guilt for letting him go with me and playing throw with him) I decide to track back my steps and return him to his village.
• Walking back, lost#2: found way after 10 min.
• I see a group of animals on the field some 50m away, they are too big for deers so I think its cows, at a closer look I realize its Capricorn/Moufflon! Not kidding, I have a picture (not a good one, I had the wide and not zoom lens on, so it took a minute to change + I thought its cows so was not in hurry).
• The dog starts barking at something, I turn and see he spotted a tiny (moufflon, deer?) calf, first I think of it as weird encounter and take a picture, a second after that realizing that the stupid piece of dog thinks he is a hunter and starts to run after it and before I am able to hit it with a stick he bites the calf in back. I pull the dumb-fuck away and return to check on the calf, its lying in grass giving me a sad look and crying but no blood visible so I hope its ok, take pic and leave some 100m away with the dog. I hope that when I am gone the mom (that I have seen for a sec behind a tree) will come and take it away. I decide to return after some 5 min and if the calf is still there take it with me to village – if mom doesnt come now, she wont come at all. I return and the calf is still there… eyes open, dead. “Angel” broke its neck. At least it was fast. But you can imagine the pang of remorse, if I knew whats coming on I could have saved it… One more reason to bring the now “did I do something bad?” looking dog back home.
• Soon Lost#3, lost for half an hour, cant figure out where the fuck I came from. I pray (nearly literary) for a sign to see or to meet someone. Miracle#4: After hopelessly walking aside the river thinking “ok, 100 steps more and than I turn back”, I actually run into a group of 5 guys (YES, those) who show me a map and point me to the village I want to go, thanks to their map I finally know the name of the village.
• I come to the village, a local shows me his home and locks him in the yard of the house. My attempts on stories on how he ate my food and jacket and killed my sleep and a calf leave him calm saying “yeah, he always runs away”… while finishing that sentence the dog is next to me again, jumped the fence
• “locked” in yard again, I eat my last pieces of food and of course as soon as I start the dog is here again. I start taking hike towards the town I am supposed to take train from. Dog follows. Me and dog spend 20 minutes in the “go home!” vs. “sad eyes” duel, that ass must have fallen in love with me. When trying to pull him he just lies on his back and does the “scratch my ball please” posture. As last resort I go back to the house (“angel” follows), ring the bell, master comes down and says “yeah I saw you the first time, thanks, well I will put him on chain this time, he always runs away with some cyclist or hiker”, doesnt seem concerened at all that if I havent returned to the village it would follow me for next 20 km…
• finally on my own I set on the path to Zlutice, where I am to take a train.
• Miracle#5: On the way I see a ruin of a small castle in some distance, decide to try and see it. Go to it, its called Hartstejn (= folkalized version of “hard stone”). I get to it to find out its a pure ruin except of the main tower that is beeing changed into a viewing tower, nearly complete. I check the entrance gate and… its open Someone must have broken it very recently, no marks of any visitors inside. I climb the ladder and stairs to the observation platform on the 3rd floor, great view all around. If I could choose a place to sleep it would be up here – smell of  freshly processed wood, sound of wind but warm with a view… Outside starts rain with hailstones, but soon finishes.
• From the tower I see a deserted church in the fields under the castle and decide to check it out. There is a 2m wide river between me and the church hill and some rain falling from skies, but with a little bit of acrobacy I get to other side climbing an old cow-fence. The church is practically a ruin, even though recently they have put up a new roof, but still this is the most desolate church I have ever seen. After taking some pics and waiting for rain to stop I start walking towards the next town from where a track to Zlutice is to lead (the sign under the castle said its 12.5 km away)
• I have to cross the small river back to the other side, I try doing it at the old mill (now someones house), an old semibroken bridge is there, I call to the guy on other side if its possible to cross on it. He says “sure”, well… He doesnt like slovaks or just didnt try it on his own but after second step a part of the bridge broke and I got ankle deep into the water. My shoes ARE waterresistant.
• on the way I think I have no drinking water left, but Miracle #6 puts a freshly renovated mineral-spring water in my way, good water.
• I walk towards the town, find an open shop there, go in to be welcomed “Topri ten” by a vietnamese girl who runs it. Ok, I thought its just Prague where all shops are run by them. I finally get some food.
• I go to the direction sign that says Zlutice 16km… yep, I was going the opposite direction (lost#4), but right when thinking what to do next, Miracle#7 offers me a bus that goes directly to Zlutice leaving in 2 minutes. Btw, remember that woman with newspapers and the changing time? If it wasnt for that I would think I still have plenty of time and would go walking… and miss my train. (Miracle#8?)
• So after a while here I am in Zlutice having 1 hour spare before the train leaves. So I go randomly walking around to find a path that leads to a small hill right above the train station. There used to be a tiny castle over there and is a left-over bunker from the 60’s, I check it out, take pictures and realize I have 13 minutes till the train leaves (cause I didnt check the time properly)… I run like hell down the hill, jump sweated in the train… and wait 5 more minutes till the train decides to leave.
• So thats how the day ends, in a train sweated. Than me getting home, cooking a dinner too big to digest that sends me straight into limbo that I dont wake up until morning when I have to go to work.

Now tell me… isnt that a pretty long story for a single weekend?

I know, hard to read and harder to believe… thats why I have pictures